The past week has been another challenge upon another challenge. I find the mindfulness to be exhausting. When so much of my mindset has been subconscious I am truly struggling to keep up the mindfulness. Look for colours, say this 25 times. say this 20 times say this 3 times twice silently and once out loud read this every day.
It reminds me of an exercise program I got on one time. It was all too much too fast and I soon became exhausted. I got the whole program but instead of doing it all in 12 weeks, I allowed myself 20 weeks and succeeded at it but I did it at a pace I could handle. I did it without stress or injury because I had control of my pace of learning.
I am thankful for all I have learned in this past month. I have done the best I could. I am not wired for the pace of this program. I know the intentions are well planned but I will bow out of this and take what I learned with me. I choose not to continue with no excuses. I choose.
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The challenge is not to start a project or class but to stick to it until the finish line.
I found the readings from Og Mandino’s book to be cumbersome at first. I wondered how long I’d keep that up. Well, I’ve nearly finished the first month of reading and am surprised that I am indeed keeping up.
My subconscious mind must be picking up those messages after all. There is a battle going on inside somewhere. I’ve been very happy most of my life to be shooting from the hip and basically just going with the flow always at someone’s beck and call. Now, I have to schedule my days to make it possible to get everything done as prescribed. That caused me some stress in the first week or so. I think I’m finding my groove.
I am settling. The progress is starting to show. I am getting grounded and managing my emotions better. I am more mindful of my reactions and I’m noticing blue rectangles every place imaginable. I’ve not seen so many red dots though. If you know what I’m talking about you are doing the same thing and perhaps chuckling about it as well. I haven’t found one single green triangle any where. I think I’d like my next colour to be pink. Just kidding.
One of the details I have struggled with in the past is getting the blog, web site, etc, etc done. My learning style is do along side another while they do and have them correct me as I go. This style has served me very well so I love true apprenticeship programs. Watching videos and reading books, I love to do, but my retention is not as good as when in fellowship with another. I know that they get joy out of sharing and I get better faster. It’s my favorite way to teach as well.
All this being said, I love “guides” and “mentors” It doesn’t matter what they are called. They walk along side and show the way. This is why I signed up for the Turn Key Blog group. They teach us on Monday nights about the Digital Connections free online training. I took a step further and let them help me by building my blog.
Taking the Master Key Mastermind Alliance Class was not just for my personal enjoyment, but to help me cross the line from adequate to abundance to that I can be of assistance to more people than just myself and a few close family members. It’s about gaining my full potential so that my light can shine further than it ever has before. I am so grateful for those who help and come along side. Mentors are the true heroes and heroines. They are in it for a much longer haul than most. They have the heart we need more of in this world to see another through to success. Thank you.
After a weekend of sickness, company and increasing cold, I found within myself the hoot-spa to press through doing my daily reading exercises. By Sunday night I was exhausted by 7pm and went to bed early.
On Monday morning I started the day with “Today is a new day” ringing in my ears. I dug in with more enthusiasm than I felt, read my DMP louder than usual, and applauded myself for doing so. Later in the evening as I was going to my mom’s home to brighten her day, I found myself making up a song out loud in my car.
It started out low and slow. A song of determination and gratitude to my God who gives me second chances. By the second chorus it turned into a crescendo of joyful praise and celebration. I found myself rejoicing, singing with gusto laughing and proud. It was a song of what my life will be like in the future but felt like I was already there. I wish I hadn’t been driving. I think it would have been a good song to record for myself. I’m not a great singer. Perhaps I will take singing lessons and become better. I could hear the angels singing along in my head. What a wonderful way to spend time in the car. I haven’t done that since I was in my 20’s.
The memory of it is warm and fuzzy. Perhaps that song will return to me some day and I will enjoy it once again.
I set myself a little goal for this week and have celebrated it all day today. It’s interesting how the littlest things can bring joy.
I have also noticed a lot of blue rectangles around town, my room, the bookcase and on the computer. I wonder how those blue rectangles are going to help me to manifest Liberty and Recognition for Creative Expression. I’ve been pressing in to link them to blue rectangles all week. So tonight I will relax with a good book and enjoy a good night’s sleep before getting into the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend. Company, food, fun and of course lots of thanksgiving.
This week I’ve been thinking about what do I really want in life. I wrote out my dream life last week but have changed my mind already. It’s not so much what I want. What matters to me, is who I want to become. Suddenly so much of my life blood seemed clearer when I thought in those terms.
This is what I wrote this week as my Definite Major Purpose. I wrote it in the present tense.
“Because of God’s grace and favour, I am a loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind woman who is faithful, gentle and self-controlled. I am a teaching evangelist who mentors intuitively and generously shares what I’ve been given with others. I am in relationship and unity with one special person who understands and supports who I am because two are better than one.”
As I wrote those words on a cue card again and again and refined how I wanted to say it, I realized, I was well on my way to become that already. I feel hope surging through my being as that dawns on me. I feel the joy and adventure of it all. I don’t mind telling myself to “do it now” 25 times a day 3 or 4 times a day. I don’t mind the idea of reprogramming my mind when I feel the hope of a new and different kind of outcome than I used to fear.
Today, for example, I started doing that one chore that is so doable but has been overwhelming me. I’m in “do it now” mode and I have had an amazing burst of energy. I promised to get it done by Sunday but it looks like it might get done tomorrow and it’s only Tuesday today. How cool is that, EH? (Can you tell I’m a Canadian?)